Child of the world

“I believe, it will get big, my little Sophie,” my dad looked at me, as often with his head turned a bit to the side, his eyes lifted up. I could see the sadness in them, definitely touched of the unavoidable goodbye, with a little reaction of helplessness, before he turned around one last time to leave, next to my mum, through the milky coloured glass doors of the custom area who separates two lives and worlds in just one second.

It got quiet around me.

These are moments in life who are pure LIFE. Moments who hurt, but who are of endless worth as well.

People, all of us, we hunger to feel, to love to feel love and give it away.

This moment was so rich of feelings, of bittersweet pain.

I think. I wish, there is just one person who believes in me. I remembered a quote of a famous Russian poet:

“You must know how to bear your cross and have faith. I have faith and things don't hurt me so much now” THE SEAGULL

Kids, teach us how to play!

Last week at work I had a beautiful revelation about how we can learn from kids the most basic stuff we once were masters in: PLAYING. Free, timeless, simple, full of creativity, without imagination limits.

I found myself in the middle of a field of grass. It has never been cut and it belongs to a close forrest, located next to the school I work for. It is a huge open space, on two sides surrounded by high trees. My group of eight kids, age 7 to 10, just wanted to pass it to go straight to the animal farm to feet the goats, but this field, with the full and fresh long grass, up to your hip, spoke out an invitation of endless play: LET'S PLAY HIDE AND SEEK!

We did. First I was the one who sought, then, someone else counted. In my responsibility of a leader, I first made sure I got the kids all together, with knowing their hiding place and in the last second, when Halis counted out loud: “Tweenty, I am coming!” I ducked down. I rolled on my back and watched the blue sky. It was 20 Degrees, the sun was shinning bright and warm in my face. Some flies buzzed over my head, one lady bird crawled up in front of my eyes on a blade of grass in front of my eyes. I felt excitement, I smelled the earth from underneath. I felt the slightly fear of my excitement, I knew from my childhood, wondering: Will I be the first one who get caught? Do I already hear the steps of the seeker? I got goosebumps. And I was wondering: When was the last time, I took time to lay down in the middle of a field, relaxing, get aware of my world and the nature around me and see the world from a different perspective? Not only up side down in laying down there on the patch of grass, but also out of the perspective of a child where time does not matter, where the “later” does not matter, where the only important thing is: can I hide myself so well, that I am the last one to find? Without getting a prize? Without getting a lolly or a “Well done, you are the master of Hide and Seek” -titel?

Just for the sake of playing, just for the sake of enjoying the moment. No more, no less. Just the here and now. I got overjoyed, just laying down there and realizing the blessing through my kids in this moment and how precious it is.

Life is so good, so full of surprises and the LITTLE BIG THINGS - if we let it

SUNDAYS

Sometimes I like Sundays. 

Everything is more quiet, slower, like in a slight dream. On a sunny Sunday like today, people seem to allow themselves some rest and enjoyable time.They walk their dogs, they take out there kids for a little stroll on the river or to the next icecream cafe and eventuelly they go for a run (to justify the visit in the icecream cafe). There is something in the air like a heavenly peace which lays on peoples backs to tell them: Yes, its ok to have fun today. Its ok to put the work aside along with the worries that usually come with it and to just be.

Just be, just breathe, just look around and see what is around: the birds chirping and welcoming the spring time, the trees flourishing with a deep green colour, various coloured flowers pushed their way through the soil they planted in and breathe the same air like us.

Life just is, people just are. God is the same.

I wish there would be more sundays in a week.

Salvation is with me

If I would have known what I had to go through, I wouldn't

have said yes so lightly.Only someone totally crazy would

have said yes.

But God is really smart.

He conquers YOUR heart first and you are wrecked. It's a one

way street and your life is changed forever.

And you wanna go the whole way, whatever it takes, whatever

it costs, you don't care. You just want Him, want to get to know Him, more and more.

He loves you so much, that He starts to show you the real YOU,

the ONE He designed you to be.

He finds this beautiful person under all this rubbish in your life and that hurts even more when you realize all your shortcomings

from the past and YOU feel His love for you regardless.

He does not care, He does not even see it, remember it.

All He sees is the righteousness of His son, living in YOU,

as a Beautiful Exchange,

for Eternity
This is my dad.

Sydney July Bridge

I just went over the Harbour Bridge to North Sydney via train.

On the west side of the train for a couple of seconds, I caught a glimpe of the most beautiful sunset. The sun went down radiating a fiery orange colour where the sky became a surreal pinky warm kind of surreal painting (my mum told me once, when I was a child, when the heavens turn orange the angels are baking cookies).

With the clouds framing the sun it became more surreal. I turned my head to the right side to catch a glimpse of the Opera House and instantly found myself short of breath in that moment: I discovered a striking coloured rainbow, which seemed to come straight from above, like a lighting pole going directly into the opera house.

You can't imagine a more perfect glimpse of an eye than this.

It is one of the moments in life that your heart almost stops and it starts hurting slightly under your ribcage in order to stand this beauty. The kind of beauty which draws you a secret tear from your eyes.

And yes,in this moment, nothing seems out of place. And you feel guided again. Guided by this huge, but gentle power of the God of the Universe who wants to say „Hello, yes, I am here and you are there. I am thinking of you - and yes, trust, just trust.“